Ruben Francia
How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development? The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices.
The next question is what appropriate divorce parenting practices for preschooler really means? Let's keep things simple. All you need to know is learn how divorce affect your children. Knowing how preschoolers react to divorce will bring you to a better position of knowing the best appropriate divorce parenting practices you can give for your child.
So let's get started. How is preschoolers affected by divorce? Preschoolers commonly experience regression during parents' divorce. Children whose parents are in conflict regress to thumb-sucking, bed-wetting and other behaviors their parents assume they've outgrown.
Children at this developmental stage may think they are responsible for their parents' divorce or for their parents not living together. As a corollary to the perception that their misbehavior caused the divorce or caused a separation, preschool children often believe that if they are really good, everything will be okay again. This can be an incredibly stressful perception for a little kid, because he or she begins to carry on his or her shoulders the burden of getting mom and dad back together again.
Preschoolers may be confused, have fantasizes about reconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing their feelings. Their sense of security is affected by predictable and consistent routines.
Preschoolers may fear being left alone or abandoned altogether and may worry about the changes in their daily lives. They may deny that anything has changed, or they may become uncooperative, depressed, or angry. Although they want the security of being near an adult, they may act disobedient and aggressive.
Preschoolers exhibit signs of sadness and grieving because of the absence of one parent. Preschoolers may be aggressive and angry toward the parent they blame.
Now that you know how preschoolers react to divorce, I'm sure a lot of ideas come to your mind on what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for preschoolers. To add up to your list of ideas, here below are some of the things you should do to help your preschoolers adjust to divorce.
· Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn't their fault.
· Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel your child's fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce
· Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.
· Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It's a threat to their security. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect
· Explain what is happening over and over again. Children this age are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide care when both parents are unavailable.
· Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Be sensitive to children's fears. Let your child know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of your separation or divorce.
· Encourage the child to carry photographs and other keepsakes of the custodial parent when he or she leaves home to visit with the non-custodial parent. Conversely, encourage the child to keep a photograph of his or her non-custodial parent in a visible place at home.
· Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged or intense.
· Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.
· Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children's ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents. If you have difficulty relating to your former spouse then get your free copy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Just visit my website and get the said ebook for free.
You can learn more divorce parenting practices appropriate for children of any age in my ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced' Children to Successfully." This ebook is a divorce parenting guide that offers many proven ways that will not only help you help your children but will also guide you on how to deal with yourself and your former ex-spouse for your children's sake. Thus, giving you complete information on how to raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. For more information, please visit my website.
With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorce.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.
About the Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com
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